Clueless

You ever walk out of a meeting and feel like, "That person just doesn't get it!"  It could be your boss, spouse, kids, coworkers, or whoever you rub shoulders with that at times you'd prefer to rub away.  You go into the meeting hoping to help, teach, or convince the other person to do things a better way.  You know, your way.

A pastor once told me that the key to leading a meeting is be in constant control.  Talk louder and longer, know more than the other person and let them know that you know more, control the subject matter, identify and manipulate the other person's weaknesses to your advantage, and move the conversation to your predetermined outcome.  Yeah, this guy's a pastor!  

I've been in meetings with him and seen him at work on his unknowing prey.  He has the ability to make you feel guilty for things that aren't your fault, can get you to commit to things you don't have time to do, and force you to give in and compromise against your principles.  This guy gave me a better understanding of why Nehemiah and posse wouldn't leave their work to meet with their enemies.  

Now I'm sitting here at my mac wondering if I ever went into a meeting trying to straighten someone out and it actually worked... I'm coming up with nothing.  People I work for, people who work for me, volunteers, even my two sons, do not respond well to manipulation and control!!!

I'm going to let you in a little secret that my wife Ronnin (and Rob Bell) is (are) teaching me - Love Wins.  The more I listen, understand, serve, give, and love, the more God pulls up my tent pegs and expands my borders. (Ok that sounded weird and a little gross, but you get the point.)   I'm exhausted with conversation competitions, boardroom banter, and heckling hoedowns.  I'd rather be the guy that speaks only when he's spoken to, uses words to exhort and not extort, and learns and not lectures.

So I bless you to remember that Jesus saved the world not by words, but but dying and he commands us walk out the same path in our lives.  

Love, Listen, Liberate

Thanks for the comments to my previous post, several of you told me that you had trouble posting a comment and I've corrected the problem.

A few weeks ago we received a letter from a homosexual in our community looking for a church home.  This person stated that they are an openly gay person, and were looking for a congregation that would accept him, challenge him, and help him grow in his pursuit of God.  He ended the letter by asking if I thought that our church would be able to provide those things for him.

Obviously, we could dissect his letter and bring out a few errors in his theology and motivation.   Kudos (yes, I did just use that word) to my readers who commented on the deeper issue, the man himself, because last time I checked, all of our theology is a little fuzzy at times.

With this email still on my mind, I took our students to a conference last week. The second night featured a youth pastor with one of the largest ministries in the country. (If you didn't know, for some reason we (ministers) judge success by how many people follow us.  So Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and the latest nutjob from American Idol would all be excellent candidates for the protestant pop-bandwagon with book deals, TV spots, and a full conference calendar, if they would just carry around a black book.)

Well this bright-eyed, optimistic messenger of the Gospel and his latest products, got off to a great start.  He took the stage with confidence and lifted his voice with immense bravado and fanfare.  We had our notebooks out, were seated erect, and tuned our ears to receive the latest download from heaven from this man of God.  He went right into his message about catching the next wave of God and he had 4 points to prove it. Apparently God always speaks to us with 3-5 points that most time start with the same letter of the alphabet, and we were halfway through point 2, or d for deliverance, when things got messy.

The speaker referenced point 1, or d for discipleship, and talked about how every teenager in his youth group must be discipled and delivered.  A loud applause and a chorus of amens were quickly interrupted by his next comment when he said,  "And we don't allow limp-wristed boys in our youth ministry."  Nervous laughter was the audiences response but dead silence would soon follow.  Next he explained with Pentecostal-fervor, that faggots and dykes were not welcomed either, they would be delivered or ran off by his ministry-gestapo units.  Not wanting to leave anyone out, he next railed against people with tattoos, tight jeans, long hair, and pretty much everything else Hitler said six decades ago to demonize people who were different than himself.  I was so mad I wanted to scream, but I wimped out and stayed for the entire message. On the way home though, I kept wondering if kids doing drugs, having sex, and skipping church were the problem or if stiff suits horribly representing Jesus and the cross might be to blame.

I have absolutely no problem with homosexuals coming to my church!  I have no problem with people with tattoos, tight jeans, or different ethnic background as well.  In fact, I believe the church should be the most eclectic gathering on the face of the earth.  Every meeting should be a smattering of races, political parties, belief systems, and even religious backgrounds.  We should all gather and worship under the banner of love for Christ.

Does this mean I am tolerant of homosexual behavior?  Have I pulled a Jim Baker Jr and decided to edit the Gospel to please the homosexual community?  Of course not, homosexuality is sin.  But do you know what the bigger problem is?  Church people don't like, and in many times hate homosexual people.  Like a five year old in fear of cooties, we want them out of our church, our political party, coffee house, etc.  I think the entire American Gospel Enterprise (Christian radio, TV, amusement parks, businesses) was started as a way to keep homosexuals out.  

And yet Jesus died on a cross and tore a big veil, to welcome people in.  No gestapo at the door, no Hitler-like suit stirring the crowd to hate, and no utopia free from the people not like us.  You see the man with messy theology who told me he's looking for a church, is a person.  And Jesus told us very clearly that we must focus on two things, loving God and loving people.

So I bless you to leave the dividing dialogue to the political pundits, blowhard radio celebrities, and dead-head theologians.  Take up the greater task to love, listen, and liberate.