Running Out of Excuses

It cost too much.  I don't know anyone else there.  I don't know how to use the equipment.  I want to spend more time with my family.  I don't have the right shoes.  I don't want all the women to flirt with me.

These are my reasons, my excuses for not joining the new gym that is two blocks from my house. (Okay the last ones a stretch, but it 'could' happen)  This gym has multiple pools, several basketball courts, cardio areas, spa, indoor track, weight room that would rival most college football programs, and my favorite, racquetball courts.  I've bought day passes on several occasions but have not been ready to make the full commitment.  Yesterday I read a flyer from them that said they were dropping membership rates to $12.50 a month.  No strings attached, no extra fees.  So I'm running out of excuses for not joining.

So why don't I just join?  What's wrong with me?  Surely I can spare 4 Starbucks a month so that I can get healthy and regain my youthful physique.  (By the way, thanks Ronnin for reminding me that I don't have the same 'body shape' I did when we first got married.)  As I cut through the thick jungle of excuses desperately searching for the root of my procrastination, I realized I was actually just looking for new and better reasons to keep the gym membership goal just outside my grasp.

You see, I really don't want to change my schedule.  I like to sleep until my boys wake me up in the morning.  I like to come home from work, and be done working.  I like to go to bed at night, and not feel totally exhausted from moving pieces of metal a few inches at a time.  I'm OK with who I am, and I really cherish my time.  So no, the gym membership is not going to happen.

I'm scratching this one off of my New Year's list.   Not as a completed goal but more importantly as a goal I never wanted to achieve in the first place.  A goal that isn't mine to achieve.  I'm happy to have the extra time to sleep, spend time with the family, and read an extra book or two.  Hey, I can still make those trips to Starbucks as well.  I'm starting to feel like I did just reach a goal!!!

So I bless you to let yourself off the hook.  Fail on purpose at the ridiculous and focus on the things that resonate with you and impact those closest to you.

10 years, 10 memories

Today's my 10 year anniversary.  Ronnin, here's my top 10 memories of the last 10 years:

1.            Honeymoon in Cancun:  But not what you’re thinking.  We boldly decided to take a catamaran out on the water.  Neither one of us had ever sailed and probably never steered a boat.  We scared our instructor more than we scared ourselves and he never let us take the boat out ourselves.

2.            1^st Time you Spoke at our Church:  There have been a handful of messages that have resonated and stuck with me, framing my view of God and my role as a follower of God.  I'll never forget that day.  Near the end of your message when you cried out in tears that the role of the church was to “Push the Bloodline” I was ready to take on the world!

3.            Our First Anniversary:  We ate dinner at home and I cooked for you.  A coworker of mine, a single guy who still lived with his parents, gave me his “foolproof” recipe to impress you.  It was horrible, you let me know, and I’ve never attempted to cook any important meals since that day.

4.            Your Pregnancy with Jace:  We lived about an hour from our doctor and the hospital (which is a sign of impending disaster).  Even though we had to stop to let you vomit every 15 miles, I cherished our “dates” to the doctor’s office and how we’d spend the whole day shopping, eating, and catching an occasional movie.

5.            Jace’s Birth:  I was scared to death at the idea of growing up and becoming responsible for someone else’s future.  Today I’m just as scared but through it all you’ve been solid, patient, and a great momma.

6.            Vacationing with Your Family:  I love the trips we’ve taken with your parents, your brother and his family, and Cayla and Brandon.  I’ve always enjoyed being with your family and these trips have created great memories.  Is there any anything more precious than the bond between Jace, Justus and their cousins?

7.            When we left Houston:  We moved in with my parents hurt, confused, and a little angry about what life had dealt us, but what a pure and sweet time that turned out to be!!!  Isn’t it amazing to know that God is on our side?

8.            Justus’ Birth:  What complete chaos the day was!  You hiking every mile of our neighborhood to induce labor while your parents were in town, the new hospital and nurses who weren’t ready to deliver babies yet, me eating a “healthy” meal at McD’s right before you gave birth, your doctor locked out of the hospital banging on the doors to get in, you screaming because of the totally natural childbirth that was taking place, and yes, me laid out on the couch about ready to completely pass out.  But ever since that little dud popped out he’s stolen everyone’s heart.  I love my boys!!!

9.            Wedding Day:  The day fulfilled every dream, fantasy, and hope that I had wished for.  You were beautiful, fun, and full of life.  Characteristics that I’ve always admired in you.  Remember your dad constantly telling me to bend my knees so that I wouldn’t pass out?

10.           Today:  10 years, 2 babies, 5 cities, 6 jobs, and way many more than 10 memories later; it’s been a great journey.  We haven’t allowed life or it’s circumstances to change our dreams, passions, and hopes.  Love you Frapps, and I’m looking forward to what God has in store for us!!!

Where in the World...

The last week and a half has been a non-stop, full-adrenaline, cross-country thrill ride.  My brother-in-law and cousin showed up at my house last week and told me they wanted me to go skiing with them in Winter Park, for free!!!  I packed my bags in 15 minutes and we headed west for Colorado.  Here's a pic of me skiing a green trail.  It may look tame but this little hill ate me up for the first two days.

I stepped off of one of the ski lifts, and the thermometer showed the temp as -30F.  So this is a pic of me surviving and thriving in sub-human temperature.  Once I pulled down my goggles and pulled up my ski mask, the tip of my nose was the only flesh visible. 

Days 2 and 3 on the mountain I left the bunny slopes and took on the blues.  I fell some, laughed some, and screamed the whole way down.

I got back back Friday just in time for a Brazilian BBQ with some friends.  Here's a pic of about 20 steaks, and only 6 adults to eat them.  I'm proud to say that there were no leftovers.

On Superbowl Sunday, we had our 1st Annual Flag Football Tournament.  My team came in second place, an issue I'm still disputing.  We lost on the last play of the game.  It was a lot of fun, except for the fact that my competitive demons came out in full display.

Last night I went to the Chris Tomlin, Israel Houghton and New Breed concert.  This is a pic of the stage and lighting setup.  Pretty simple setup: black backdrop, two video screens, and a heavy dose of intelligent lights.

Our seats were great, 15 rows from the stage.  Israel and new Breed were incredible live.  His vocals were unbelievable, the band was slamming, and the dancers were not at all cheesy like you'd expect.  As I was texting my bro telling him that Tomlin should be opening for Israel, Tomlin took the stage and led the greatest worship set I have ever heard in my life.  That guy is a song-writing stud!!!

I'm back in the office today, for the 1st time in almost 2 weeks, and we're continuing our series on sex and dating tonight.  Have a great week!!!

Just Listening to Some Tunes Dad

I caught Justus jammin' out the other day.  He was dancing, moving his arms, even making some baby sounds to go along with the music.  Then I realized the headphones weren't plugged into anything.  It made me wish I was still a kid who could dance to his own imagination.

I Won't Look Back

Don't all of us aspire to be great leaders?  Isn't it naturally to want to live a life that inspires others to follow our journey?  Surely we all want to be eulogized as someone who left a lasting legacy for future generations.

But why is there a such a large leadership gap in culture today?  Our churches, our government, our businesses, etc. seem to be lacking in authentic leadership.  George Barna, (I can't believe I'm quoting this guy) recently stated that most Protestant pastors are neither called to nor competent in leadership.  Barna's completely wrong on the first part but probably correct on the second.  We're all "called" (whatever that means) to be leaders, but few know how to do it.

I just read a story about Joan of Arc (I hope it's true) that helped clarify the role of a great leader.  At age 17, she was leading the French knights into battle when her army was faced against a walled fortress.  She turned to one of her military generals and said, "I will lead the way over this wall."  The general replied, "None of these men will follow you."  Joan of Arc replied, "I won't look back to see if they're following me."  And guess what, they followed her.

Maybe we should stop trying to be leaders focused on who's following us and what leadership paradigm we're utilizing, constantly looking back for affirmation.  True leadership comes from an authentic commitment to the ideas and values that God has already placed in us.

So determine that you won't look back to see who's following you, and stay focused on overtaking the walls facing you and humanity around you.  Who knows, you just might inspire an army to follow in your steps.

Marley, Me, and You

Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Adam Sandler, and Jim Carrey all have new movies out at the movie theaters right now.  The combined production costs for these current movies is over $400 million.  $400 million dollars.

Pitted against these big-budget blockbuster movies is a PG movie about a family with a dog.  The story's about a young family that adopts a dog, have kids, and live life.  Simple plot especially when compared to movies about a complex plan to assassinate Hitler, a disturbed man who is determined to make his life meaningful through death, a couple of kids who spend the week with their uncle and find out that they have the supernatural ability to turn ridiculous stories into reality, and a guy trying to survive his midlife crisis by becoming a yes man. (Isn't this just a Liar Liar remake?)

Well the little dog movie has turned the superpower Hollywood boys into mere mortals.  The last two weeks Marley has raced past the boys at the box office and earned over $106 million.  Who would have thought that good writing and a movie with heart can beat plastic-faced, bloated ego, tummy-tucked stars?

Thanks Marley.  You've inspired me to take on whatever challenges 2009 may bring me.  Okay, not really but it is nice to see Goliath get his day.  

Have a great 2009, and don't allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the overwhelming obstacles in your life.  Live life with heart, stay journey minded, and be yourself.

First Shave

Jace has been asking me for months to buy him a razor and teach him how to shave.  After watching Bedtime Stories last week, he amped up his request and I finally caved in.  I bought a set of cheap of razors from the store and took them apart to get the blades out.  I broke two razors, cut myself three times, but he now has his own razor.

Invest

I was very surprised to read that 49.5 percent of all U.S. households own individual stocks or stock mutual funds.  At first I was very proud to hear that in spite of Dave Ramsey's robust rantings about our financial foolishness, we have been saving and investing and not blowing our money on the latest installment of Guitar Hero.  

I was about to give the "Great Ramsey" a call, exposing him as a false prophet of our moronic money handling, when the next sentence in the article caused me to put the phone down.  The article stated that the majority of investments made by Americans were not voluntary and were instead made by their company as part of a salary package, 401K contribution, or other benefits package.  The actual percentage of Americans who voluntarily invest is 14 - 20 percent.

(In the spirit of George Barna, I was first tempted to manipulate this raw data to position myself as a radical rebuker of the "church" and its influence on culture, while capitalizing on the opportunity by selling books and going on speaking tours.  But that seems a little too apathetic and arrogant for a simple man like myself.)

I'm not sure what the numbers mean, but it did cause me to ask myself some questions.  How much of my life is preparation for the future?  How many opportunities do I take to invest time and resources into the relationships that mean the most to me?  Do I consider investing as an integral part of being a "whole" person?

The Hebrew word gemilt khasadim seems to more accurately paint a picture of the true spirit of investing.  It's where we get the word lovingkindness from and it means to exert oneself on behalf of others, whenever possible.  

I'm not sure how much I live like this.  I guess I'm more of a casual investor.  It would be a stretch to say that I exert myself for the betterment of mankind on a consistent basis.  I care, pray, and take opportunity to bless those around me but it seems to come more naturally, and not a disciplined act of exertion.  But I'm not ok with this.  As much as I want to live life in the moment, I also want those moments to enrich the lives of others around me.

So this Christmas, and throughout the new year, I'm deciding to become more intentional and deliberate to love others as I love myself... simple humanity.  I bless you to enjoy life, live it the full, and to invest in the lives of others around you.

YOUR sacred journey

I just returned from my local bookstore and was inspired by a new book.  I started picturing my ministry following the footsteps of this successful person and quickly imagined the impact my team could make by putting his principles into action.

I asked myself... Why bleed in the dense foliage of undiscovered truth when I can just follow someone else's highway to success?  Thanks los for your article reminding me that the only person we're called to emulate isn't found in the christian book store, but instead on the fearful and frightening journey towards truth and authenticity.

I'm still committed to reading of the rise, fall, and revival of great leaders and innovators of today, but I'm just as interested in packing my first-aid kit and continuing on my own sacred journey.  

Embracing Your Community

I bought a Mac earlier this year, and along with it I received a free subscription to Macworld.  I don't read it much, it's 90% advertisement for mac products (because everyone needs a pink carrying case for their new iphone) and 10% informational, but way too informational for a novice Mac user like myself.

Anyway, I started flipping through the pages to look at the pretty pages, which is pretty much how I read everything (yes, I do still use my childhood picture bible) when I actually ran into an interesting article.  It was in the very back, between advertisements for things called 8-core, quadxeon memory and mercury elite-al dual drive hubs, and I was just content to find an article that contained real words.

It was titled, Embracing Our Community and was written by Paul Kent.  After reading the article several times, I found myself very ashamed that this guy and the management team at Mac are better motivated and focused at creating a sense of community then every pastor I've ever met, including myself.

The article was describing how the Mac community has evolved from small user groups in the 80s, to a community today bonded together as strong as any family.  Okay, so maybe a little hyperbole was at work, but an still interesting an article.  According to Kent, here's how to do it:

1. Gather the Tribe

- Create opportunities for people from various backgrounds to network with 

each other through real-world interaction.

- Create a community with shared passion, commitment, and love

- Become a community of zealots, invested in the rise and fall of the 

organization

2. Expand the Tent

- Understand that new members to your community bring fresh perspective.

- New members drive the best thinkers, commentators, and leaders in the 

community to stay ahead of the curve.

- New members force you to find something for every segment of your 

potential community.

Too simple? Well the Mac community has used this simple formula to expand 

from a few users to a mainstream market in the millions. Maybe we should 

stop selling sermon series for bloated profits to bloated church members, stop 

spending money to make the building prettier while our neighborhoods are 

getting uglier, and stop talking about God like He's only concerned about gays 

and abortionist, and blind to hypocrites and phonies. Instead, what if we 

attempted to build and be an authentic community of people, recklessly 

pursuing the cause of Christ?

So I bless you to become an architect of a better way to live, a way that

embraces your community.

You and 'Your People'

One of my best friends was born in Brazil, grew up there, and has been to more countries than I can identify on a map.  His wife is Brazilian as well, and has several different races mixed in her blood.  They help lead an awesome ministry to Brazilian families in Kansas City, and use our church facilities as a missions/ministry base.

Last Sunday, someone walked up to my friend before church and said, "You and 'your people' can't use the church next week because we're using it for something else."  My friend has more grace than I do because he found their comments more humorous than offensive.  I wasn't at church on Sunday and I just found out about this last night.  Had I heard them say it, I swear I would have physically removed them from the premises, in the process reminding them that their Saviour isn't white, didn't grow up in the suburbs, and died on a cross so that people who are stupid and ignorant like them, can be healed.

I guess I don't understand how or why the church became so homogenized and Sunday became the most segregated day of the week.  It doesn't feel right, sure doesn't look right, and I hope isn't a fair representation of the Kingdom of God.  

So what's the cause?  Is it simply a difference in worship style, musical expression, and cultural surroundings?  On some level, but I'm afraid there is a little more at work here.  Let's be honest... if your church members are all one color, run and led by a group of men, and governed by old people, you aren't a church as much as you are a special interest group.

An honest pursuit of God should compose of an eclectic community of races, ages, sexes, and ideas.  Anything else is a collection of people with preconceived ideologies, worshipping under the guise of passion for God, while rejecting His great plan for humanity.

So today I'm glad to follow God alongside my friends from Brazil who consider English their second language and America their second home, but me their best friend even though my skin is different, my accent is not the same, and my background and ideas are quite a bit different.  I consider them 'my people'.

I bless you to no longer be stigmatized by your race, religion, and age, but by your ability to listen, learn, and love those who aren't just like you.

Proof of Forgiveness

The other day as I was leaving for work, I promised Jace I would take him for a bike ride as soon as I got home.  Normally I love going on bike rides with Jace.  The weather this fall has been perfect, the trees are beautiful shades of reds and oranges, and we have some great trails in our neighborhood.

Unfortunately, that afternoon the weather made a dramatic change, dropping 30 degrees with a light rain.  As I pulled in the driveway and Jace ran outside to greet me, I remembered my earlier promise.

I let Jace down as easy as possible, and told him that there was no way we were going for a bike ride in that weather.  He was obviously disappointed and didn't understand why we couldn't just wear a jacket and 'be tough'.  After confessing that I wasn't as tough or brave as him, and explaining how sorry I was that I wouldn't be able to fulfill my promise, a funny thing happened.  He said, "Daddy, that's okay I forgive you."  Just like that.  Simple forgiveness.  No strings attached.  No blackmailing involved.  Just instant forgiveness.

It made me wonder, how come I can't forgive as quickly and completely as a six year old?  Why am I more interested in restitution, retribution, and retaliation and not so concerned with forgiveness?

I'm a justice guy.  I want wrongs fixed, evil banished, poverty eliminated, class structures dissolved, and equality for all.  I like to think this was what Jesus was all about, but I'm only half right.  The truth is justice oftentimes becomes misdirected and perverted into boycotting companies, preaching against people who have never and will never attend your church, and putting distance between people who don't think like you.

Justice only works within the framework of forgiveness.  I don't want to become 'that guy' with the cheap suit, a safe cocoon of empty faith but lofty idealism, and little effect on real people who aren't programmed to think just like me.  I want to get my hands dirty, my faith stretched and tested, and see people transformed by truth and forgiveness.  

So I'm making a new commitment to follow Paul's instructions to Timothy, "to be strong in grace".  For every person I don't get along with, who thinks differently than me, or has hurt me in some way, here are 5 ways that I'm going to to start walking in forgiveness and truth.

1. Celebrate their successes

2. Cover their weaknesses

3. Seek peace

4. Ask for amnesia

5. Walk in a deeper intimacy with the Holy Spirit

I bless you to embrace relationships that force you to grow, think, and pursue Christ in a more authentic way.

O vs Mac

Don’t know and don’t care who you’re voting for in a few days, but I recommend you watch this video… http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/choice2008/

PBS did it, it seems pretty balanced, and I was totally inspired listening to the stories of these two guys.  I have great respect for Obama and McCain, and I’m stirred after hearing how they’ve overcome prejudice, hatred, violence, and their own ‘demons’ to serve our country.

613 Ways to Get in Trouble

In kindergarten, my best friend was Daniel.  It’s odd that I remember his name.  I can’t remember any of my teacher’s names from elementary school, although I think there was a Mrs. Smith (No, not Angelina Jolie, more like a Mrs. Doubtfire) or a Mrs. Johnson.  Daniel and I were best friends, and as boys do, at times we were best enemies.

One time at recess, we had our most memorable fight.  We got in an argument, a crowd gathered, I picked up a stick, and in a Roger Clemens moment, nailed him right in his face.  He fell to the ground, acting like he’d just lost an eye.  I should have aimed for his mouth because he went on and on about how he was now blind and injured for life.  As teachers came running to his aide, I told him if he’d move his stupid hand from his face, he’d miraculously be able to see again.

Well Daniel regained his eyesight, but not until after I was sent to the principal’s office.  (Now I do remember my principal’s name, maybe I spent more time there than in my classroom.)  He asked me the same moronic question asked by every law enforcer.  You know the question, “Why did you do it?”  What do you tell the friendly police officer who just pulled you over for speeding through a school zone?  “Uh, I wanted to get home in time to catch Sportscenter.”  “I wanted to see what celeb Dr Phil is fixing today.”  No matter what you say, you’re caught, and you’re going to be punished.

Well, I was six and didn’t understand this.  So as he waited patiently for my remorseful confession, my mind worked hard on a viable story.  And this is what I came up with…

  I have a stick collection in my room, and I was picking up sticks to examine if I wanted to add any of these to my collection.  I picked up a large one, and to my dismay, realized that I already had this species in my collection.  I simply threw the stick aside and continued on my quest for the next great stick discovery.

  Seconds later I heard the exaggerated crying and moaning from my best friend who apparently walked right in the direction of the tossed stick.  I quickly ran over to him, offering my aid and assistance.

I was pretty proud of myself, my principal not so much.  I got punished at school, which involved a big round block of wood, and then punished again at home, which involved a big strong hand.

To this day, whenever I do something wrong, I get caught.  Sometimes I own up to it, apologize, and then move on.  And sometimes I digress to that six year-old boy making up stories about stick collections.

Ask someone how many commandments are in the bible and they’ll probably tell you, “ten”.  The truth is, in the first five books of the bible, there are 613 commandments given by God.  Makes me think that the people who feel that the bible is just a strict rulebook might have a point.  There are 365 negative commandments – “Thou shalt not” and 248 positive commandments – “Thou shalt”

As followers of Christ, we believe that we are created in the image of God, thus we should behave in the manner of God; in a way that honors Him. 

Martin Buber said it like this, “The fact that it has been revealed to us that we are made in God’s image gives us the incentive to unfold the image and in so doing to imitate God.”

Sounds good, but the reality is God isn’t addicted to pornography like us, He doesn’t lie like us, He doesn’t cheat, steal, covet, or the other 600 ways we consistently misrepresent Him.

I’m sober to the fact that I fail hundreds of times every day.  One of the writers of the bible said, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”  I’m not so bold. 

But I’ve got some good news.  It’s interesting to me that the 365 negative commandments equal the 365 blood vessels in the human body.  The 248 positive commandments equal the 248 organs in the human bible.  It gives new perspective to when Jesus told his followers to “Eat His flesh and drink His blood.”

Maybe the key isn’t getting it right, but instead walking with Him.  The bible might have a long list of requirements, but following Jesus only has one… Come.

So I bless you to no longer keep score, but instead to simply walk the journey.  A prophet named Jeremiah understood it when he said, “God loves with an everlasting love, and he draws you in with loving-kindness.”

Dynamic Environment

The Christian faith was birthed by a small tribe of shepherd people called Jews.  They were the bearers of a radical new concept, and this concept became the basis for not only a new form of religion, but of a better way to live.

 In that day, the dominant theology was pagan religion.  They believed that divine creatures predated creation and humanity, but the gods themselves had been created by some mystical force.  Supreme deity was not imposed on these gods, as each tribe and people group worshipped their own gods and followed their own set of morals and laws.

In this landscape, Hebrews spoke out of a personal relationship with their God.  They declared that not only was their God good (James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”) but that he was also all-powerful; the one true God (John14:6, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life”.)

Jewish ideas celebrated not only the supremacy of their God, but also described a bold, new relationship between God and humanity.  They spoke of an intimate and personal relationship with God, and His desire to engage the heart of people groups from all tribes and nations.  The Jewish people were not describing a new form of “religion” or attempting to destroy the religious ideology of their day.  Instead they were speaking out of the context of their own personal relationship with Creator God.  The entire Jewish community, every man, women, and child had a personal encounter with God.

But where did that leave people groups who were entrenched in pagan theology and skeptical of rejecting the “truth” that had been handed down from previous generations?  Were they condemned, marginalized, left out of God’s design and plan for humanity?  Joel 2:32 describes God’s definitive plan for mankind, a way to bridge economic, racial, religious, and political divides; “And everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved…”

So today we continue to celebrate our unique and personal relationship with God.  And just as important, we reach out of our own “family” with the passion to share the truth that Jesus has a plan and destiny for all of humanity.  Our faith can be expressed in corporate weekly worship services,  but is more accurately demonstrated through the love and assimilation of eclectic people groups from all backgrounds.

Joel understood this as he proclaimed, "He knows the way that I take and when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."  So I bless you to engage your task not in fixing people, but bringing out the gold that God has deposited in each of us.

Connection Teams

I can finally come back up for air.  I've been hiding out, working on our fall small group manual and study guides for the past few weeks.  After dozens of meetings, hours of collaboration, and working my mac to the max, we're done.  The manual ended up being about 75 pages long.  We started training our new leaders this week and really expect things to explode. (in a good way)

The biggest problem we ran into was renaming our small group ministry.  We went with "Connection Teams".  It's actually a good alternative to some of our other ideas... "Mix and Mingle", "Band of Brothers, and Sisters", "People Not in a Box" (an ode to Petra), "Like a Good Neighbor", "Homemade Goodness", and "Rapture-Ready Radicals".  Some of you are laughing, some are rolling your eyes, but most of you are probably crying.   

Give me some feedback on what your small group ministry is called or what you wish it was called.